Nonword of the Week: Fauxquarium

Fauxquarium: a fake fish tank (physical or digital) which allows for its owner to experience the benefits of owning fish while mitigating many of the negative effects.

Example: Looking at her beautiful fauxquarium was oddly soothing, even though the fish were computer-generated.

Related nonwords: salmoney, waterblogged, bubblesque 

It’s weird; I would never own a fish tank in real life, but I tend to like games with “virtual fish tanks” or similar setups.  I usually only play the free ones, because I feel a little silly buying virtual food pellets for fish that aren’t actually fish.  My two favorites are Insaniquarium Deluxe and Tap Fish, but I’ve sampled some others as well.

When I googled “fauxquarium,” I realized that there are real-world analogues as well – tanks with fake fish that float around and look pretty.  These can range from water-using, bubbling aquariums with moving fish models to those revolving lamps.  Fish are pretty to look at; however, it seems others share my fear of finding a smelly fishy carcass floating atop month-old sludge because they forgot about Jaws Jr. for a while.  Better to have flickers of light on a screen or a lamp that won’t be so disgustingly mortal.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.