Nonword of the Week: Windhale

Windhale: the action of opening your mouth to take a breath, only to be slapped in the face with a sudden gust of wind.

Example: The “severe cross-winds” sign was no joke, Chelsea soon discovered, as she found herself windhaling great gulps of chilly air.

Related nonwords: over-breezy, airhater

Let’s just say my first trip across the Tacoma Narrows Bridge minus the protection of a car left me a bit wind-blown…

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Waitaholic

Waitaholic: a person who enjoys waiting for end results rather than indulging in instant gratification. Rare.  Waitaholics are more than merely patient – they will actively seek out opportunities to wait, and shun those who can’t resist jumping lines.

Example: The book was long-winded and boring, but the waitaholic wouldn’t skip to the end to find out what happened; monotony was part of the experience of reading the book.

Related nonwords: rejourney, zombified

If you’ve seen the xkcd comic Time, that’s a comic made for waitaholics.  (It currently updates hourly, each time showing a new frame in an extended comic.  As of now there are approximately 650 frames of Time; it began on Monday, March 25th and has not stopped. (Go to http://xkcd.aubronwood.com/ to see the whole sequence.)

Wait for it.

It’s also spawned a wiki and several religious sects.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Moveclusion

Moveclusion: that moment when you realize you have unpacked all the boxes and everything is finally in its proper place; the end of a relocation.

Example: It took a couple of weeks for Chelsea’s new adventure to come to its moveclusion – next up: finding a job.

Related nonwords: packaholic, boxidemic, rejourney

All done moving – I think that everything is where it’s supposed to be.  I’m all out of boxes to unpack, anyway.  I’m pretty impressed that I found room for all of the stuff I brought without filling the new apartment to the brim.  I mean, I still have room for books on my bookshelf!

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Shovelcize

Shovelcise: the daily workout that inevitably follows heavy snowfalls. 

Example: Chelsea’s new workout routine included an hour and a half of shovelcise.

Related nonwords: flinter, excacrucivation, iglooless

This afternoon was spent moving piles of solid water from one part of the property (driveway) to another (berms beside driveway).  I had several inches of thick, wet snow – getting ever thicker and wetter since it was 36 degrees – to deal with.  Let’s just say it was the best workout I’ve gotten in a while.

Our sidewalk, post-shovelcise. I’d like to thank the fancy bent-handle shovel, for making things just that much easier.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Boxidemic

Boxidemic: a superabundance of boxes, storage containers, etc. in a particular area.

Example: The family room often experienced a boxidemic when Christmas decorating time came around.

Related nonwords: clutterish, cardbored, overtape

There is a nonstop boxidemic raging in our basement, but it has recently spread to the main living areas. Containers full of ornaments and holiday doodads have been toted up temporarily to be unpacked, creating an impromptu obstacle course.

I should also note that there is a boxidemic in the garage right now and it is my fault – but it is temporary too (I promise!) and will clear up when I get a new apartment where I can stash it all.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Packaholic

Packaholic: a person that enjoys placing belongings into travel bags, esp. someone given to overpacking a suitcase in order to be prepared for every foreseeable clothing scenario.

Example: The average traveler brings three outfits per weekend; the packaholic brings six, which can be combined and rearranged to form a further twenty-one.

Related nonwords: lootcase, desocked

I admit, I can be a packaholic at times. I think it might be related to my tendency to hoard things (it might come in handy someday!) or maybe it’s because of my occasional bouts of super-organization (shirts are currently arranged by color).  If I’m going on a long trip, I will make lists of everything I need to pack, and I might spend half a day gathering up everything I think I could possibly need. BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Fauxquarium

Fauxquarium: a fake fish tank (physical or digital) which allows for its owner to experience the benefits of owning fish while mitigating many of the negative effects.

Example: Looking at her beautiful fauxquarium was oddly soothing, even though the fish were computer-generated.

Related nonwords: salmoney, waterblogged, bubblesque 

It’s weird; I would never own a fish tank in real life, but I tend to like games with “virtual fish tanks” or similar setups.  I usually only play the free ones, because I feel a little silly buying virtual food pellets for fish that aren’t actually fish.  My two favorites are Insaniquarium Deluxe and Tap Fish, but I’ve sampled some others as well.

When I googled “fauxquarium,” I realized that there are real-world analogues as well – tanks with fake fish that float around and look pretty.  These can range from water-using, bubbling aquariums with moving fish models to those revolving lamps.  Fish are pretty to look at; however, it seems others share my fear of finding a smelly fishy carcass floating atop month-old sludge because they forgot about Jaws Jr. for a while.  Better to have flickers of light on a screen or a lamp that won’t be so disgustingly mortal.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Flinter

Flinter: the time of year when it is still technically fall, but the weather resembles that of winter.

Example: As Thanksgiving grew nearer, the frequent snowflakes made it clear that flinter was in full swing.

Related nonwords: leafsicle, carfrost, shovelcise 

Me, after the first snow: “It’s winter!!!”
Mom: “Not for another month and a half…”

Flinter is also that special time of year when snow covers raked-up leaves, giving the illusion that they are really mounds of snow instead of piles of discarded plant appendages.

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Poodly

Poodly: Possessing characteristics similar to those of poodles; in designer dogs, taking strongly after the poodle parent.

Example: The latest litter of labradoodle puppies looked mostly like their father, but one was quite poodly.

Related nonwords: labradorable, bulldoggery

This nonword is borrowed from the classifieds section of the paper, where a breeder was hoping to sell some particularly poodly crossbreeds. It’s just fun to say. Oodles of poodly poodles!

(Other animals besides dogs can be poodly, too.)

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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.

Nonword of the Week: Helpish

Helpish: able to assist to some degree, but not competent enough to perform the task at hand

Example: The new employees were a helpish bunch, managing to get the lane lines out of the pool but in the process entangling them into a hopeless snarl.

Related nonwords: reassist, aidable

The pool opened for the season today, with myself, one other returning lifeguard, and seven newbies. Let’s just say it was interesting.

Have a unique nonword of your own? Leave a comment!
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Disclaimer: I do not condone idle word-mangling. Please mangle your words with care. Should not be attempted by the faint of heart or those with reading disorders. Side-effects include peculiar looks, disapproving frowns, essay markdowns, and utter confusion.